I have used Coxir products in the past and they were all effective and pleasant to use. This emulsion is no different. It is a light cream gel that applies smoothly and easily melts into the skin. It initially leaves a satin finish that dries to down to a matte. I put mine in a skin care fridge, so it feels amazing in this hot Queensland summer.
The Coxir Ultra Hyaluronic Emulsion contains a high concentration of hyaluronic acid as well as 19 types of plant extract, and aloe vera. This emulsion is perfect to incorporate into your well-aging routine as the allantoin in the aloe vera moisturises the skin and stimulates collagen production production.
The emulsion is encouraged to be use after toner and serum after both are fully absorbed into the skin. Gently massage onto skin in circular motion. The emulsion can be incorporated into both your morning and night routine.
In my experience, the emulsion has a pleasant, subtle scent that appears to derive from its ingredients. The pump packaging ensures sanitary dispensing of the emulsion. The product comes in a good size that ensures at least 3 months of use at least. My skin feels so hydrated and plump, it belies my 39 years! This product also plays well with my makeup products, so I highly recommend.
Texture: Gel- cream consistency
Dries to a matte finish
** This product has been given to me for free by Picky and Coxir in exchange for my honest review.
I have oily skin, which, in my teen years, was the bane of my existence. I have discovered niacinamide a few years back and that has helped me keep the sebum at bay. However, I found most niacinamide products leave me feeling sticky. Having used this serum for the past few weeks, I can honestly say that has helped with regulating oil production as well as overall skin brightening. Yes, I still have oily skin, but my pimples have calmed down. My skin feels better and I feel better in my skin.
This serum has other ingredients that help with pore care, skin texture, hydration, and irritation. I am impressed by how much the brand has managed to squeeze in into this product: Centella Asiatica, niacinamide, snail mucin, glycerin, panthenol, tranexamic acid, glutathione, and ascorbyl glucoside. They all work together to target multiple skin concerns.
The serum is a bit thick, not runny. It does not leave a tacky feeling. After being absorbed into the skin, the serum leaves a matte finish to my oily skin. I like how lightweight it feels after and it works well with my other skin care products.
This serum is great for someone like me, who neglected my skin until I was well into my 30s. Hence, I have hyperpigmentation and uneven skin tone. The azelaic acid formulation of this serum claims to brighten and even out the skin tone, as well as minimise the appearance of fine lines and blemishes. It also has a powerful blend of Centella Asiatica extract, niacinamide, and azelaic acid that help soothe inflammation and irritation. The snail mucin helps with collagen production and hydration. They have also thrown in lactic acid for gentle exfoliation.
In my experience using this serum, I found it best to use in the morning as it is lightweight and absorbs easily into the skin. It also plays well with the makeup that I use. It initially feels tacky but the feeling quickly passes once the serum is fully absorbed into the skin. I have oily skin and I found that this did not feel sticky or tacky, as some niacinamide products do. In my weeks of using this product, I believe that it has delivered on its claims of skin brightening and soothing irritation and inflammation.
The Nine Less UV Shield is my favourite sunscreen at the moment. As sunscreens go, this is not very different to other Korean sunscreens these days: moisturising, creamy, and has no white cast. It has a subtle, organic scent that is not displeasing. The cream needs to be massaged well into the skin for some time before it absorbs. Once absorbed, it lends a matte, blurred finish to my oily skin. It plays well with the makeup that I use. One of the best things is the ZERO white cast. It leaves my oily skin feeling hydrated but not sticky.
This also ticks all the boxes for those who want fragrance-free, cruelty-free, and vegan products. It has SPF 50+ PA++++. Its active ingredients include Cica extract for its soothing and protective properties and Noni extract for hydration and sunburn relief. It also has a host of well-aging ingredients like ceramides, hyaluronic acid, and vitamin tree extract, which are a bonus for someone like me who's stepping into their 40s soon.
How to use: Apply the sunscreen as the last step of your skin care routine. Massage well into the skin until fully absorbed. Apply makeup after if desired.
I have found my skin to be a bit dull and dry the past few weeks. Perhaps due to not enough water intake, physical activity, or just because I'm getting older. I was fortunate enough to receive this skin care bundle to test from Jumiso and StyleKorean. I've had almost a month to test out the products and I was quite satisfied with the results.
Let's start of with the Jumiso Snail Mucin 95 + Peptide Facial Essence. This product claims to be non-comedogenic and aims to improve skin texture without clogging pores. This also claims to soothe sun-damaged skin.
Ingredients:
95% Snail Mucin which moisturises and leaves skin plump and firm
5-Peptides for collagen production and well-aging
Adenosine, Allantoin, & Panthenol that hydrate and soothe the skin.
User Experience: True to their claims, this essence did not break me out. Most of all, I have some improvement on my skin texture. As someone with textured skin and an oily, acne-prone skin type, this essence sounds promising with long-term use. This does not feel too slimy, unlike it's counterparts from other brands. It is absorbed after about 5 seconds of massaging on to the skin and leaves the skin feeling more firm and plump.
Directions for Use: Apply the essence as the last stage of skin care. Use a suitable amount and gently tap on to the skin.
Jumiso Waterfull Hyaluronic Acid Serum
This serum is a hydration booster. Claims to be hypoallergenic. Contains both high and low molecular weight HA to instantly hydrate skin.
Ingredients: Hyaluronic Acid, D-Panthenol, and Ceramides
User Experience: The serum is very lightweight, it almost feels like water on the skin. Easily absorbed and gives instant hydrating results. I've had no adverse reactions to this serum, nor has it broken me out.
Directions for Use: Apply to face after the toner step. Pat gently until absorbed. Can be used twice daily.
Jumiso All Day Vitamin Brightening & Balancing serum
This serum aims to reduce dullness and hyperpigmentation. The main ingredient is 86.14% Vitamin Tree extract, which claims to brighten skin.
User Experience: I found it cooling on the skin and has no artificial nor heavy scents. My skin just drinks it up as it applies just a tad thicker than water. This is non-irritating and the cooling sensation makes it a treat to use.
Directions for Use: Apply 3-4 drops twice a day after cleansing.
Jumiso All Day Vitamin Pure C 5.5
Ingredients: Contains 5.5 % Pure Vitamin C, the moist powerful antioxidant for brightening, and 2.0% AA2G which boosts the Vitamin C and fades dark spots more efficiently. This product also contains:
Alpha Arbutin which evens out the skin tone
Ferulic acid that boosts antioxidant properties
Tocopherol strengthens the skin barrier
Aronia Extract which is rich with antioxidants and reduces skin sensitivity
User experience: Does not sting nor feels hot on the skin when applied, unlike other Vitamin C products I've tried. It is free from artificial fragrance, the only scent I detected was that citrusy Vitamin C smell.
Directions for use: Apply 3-4 drops on the skin after cleanser and toner. Follow with moisturiser and sunscreen. Do a patch test for first-time users and for those with sensitive/ reactive skin.
In my opinion, these are not outstanding nor groundbreaking products. However, they deliver on their claims. Give them time to take effect and you will see results.
{ Disclaimer: I received these products for free from Picky and Dr. Ceuracle in exchange for my honest review.}
The Dr. Ceuracle Pure VC Mellight Set targets brightening and hyperpigmentation with Vitamin C as the active ingredient. The set I received has 3 products: the boosting essence, cream, and ampoule.
The Pure VC Mellight Boosting Essence (145 mL/ 4.90 fl.oz.) comes in a bubble foam form. A pump dispenses the foam. It is very light and gets quickly absorbed by the skin. It is recommended to use 1-2 pumps after facial cleansing, then pat gently until absorbed.
The Pure VC Mellight Ampoule (8 mL/ 0.27 fl.oz) comes in a package of 4 ampoules. The consistency is akin to water, and thus absorbs quite easily. It is strongly recommended to use 1 ampoule per week. The ampoule is delivered with a glass dropper. The formula is light- and temperature-sensitive, so it is best to use it at night and to refrigerate the opened ampoule. The ampoule is to be used after the essence and before the cream.
The Pure VC Mellight Cream (20 mL/ 0.67 fl. oz.) is a cream that you can apply on targeted areas due to the nozzle applicator. It is not a heavy texture and glides easily on the skin. I would recommend to use the cream after the ampoule.
My thoughts:
All the products in the set did not irritate my skin nor cause me any breakouts. There was no stinging sensation with application on any of the products. I followed the directions for use and storage, and religiously use sunscreen to for optimal effect. I have noticed a very slight citrus scent on all the products, which is expected as the active ingredient is Vitamin C. It has been easy to incorporate them into my current skin care routine.
Packaging: All the products are in dark packaging to prevent the destruction of Vitamin C. The product description and instructions are easy to understand. Except for the essence, there are no specific instructions as to when to use them in your skin care routine. I hope that next time, companies provide instructions for use and when to use the product.
Ease of use: I found it very easy to use all the products as the packaging and the form they come in are very convenient. The foam essence is especially fun to use.
These products need long-term and consistent use to see the effects on hyperpigmentation. I do agree that they have helped brighten my complexion though.
Hello there! It's been 7 years since my last post! Fair dinkum!!! My bub is now a 7 year old and our 2 other kids have joined the family here in Australia in 2016. We have moved twice and now live in a coastal town in regional New South Wales. We lived in a rural country town in Central Queensland back in 2015. We have lived in this beautiful town 4 hours north of Sydney for 4 years now. We are absolutely enjoying the breath-taking vistas and outdoor life, as well as the perks of living in a small town.
I've now been working as a registered nurse for 7 years in Australia. I used to work in general practice, have moved to work in 3 aged care facilities, and am now currently thriving working in rehabilitation in a private hospital. I have now reduced my working hours to 8 days per fortnight, instead of 10 days so I have time to rest and pursue my varied interests. I have discovered K-drama in 2018 and have not looked back. I got into K-Pop (BTS primarily) at around 2020 and am living my best life. My passion for books and makeup still burns hot, now extending to Webtoons and skin care. I now opened Instagram and Tiktok accounts reviewing skin care and makeup products and reviewing books so my impulsive buying can serve a purpose 😂😂😂. I have decided to start blogging again and be more consistent updating my socials and this blog.
My husband and I have discovered a love for cooking and movies. He does most of the cooking and have only learned to cook since moving to Australia. We have always loved watching movies and series, so have subscribed to Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Disney+. These two interests combined have contributed to our massive weight gain 😆😆. But we are happy. 💓
At this time, I'm now 38 years old. I have 3 kids and am married for 13 years (no need to gush about how wonderful my partner is, the fact that we're still together after almost 20 years says it all). We've been a single-income household for 6 years. Since our youngest started school, my partner had started working, so we can now be a bit flexible with our budget. I'm at a stage now where I've bought most most of what I wanted. Now upgrading our appliances, buying better quality, saving for a house, and being more efficient with our finances.
This blog will mostly be a reflection of that journey. Sprinkles of product reviews and recommendations, food recipes, photos of life in this paradise we call home, and just keeping up with our family.
I bought the Nutri Ninja Slim upon the recommendation of one of my friends. She has lost a lot of weight from making fruit and yogurt smoothies instead of eating full rice-and-viand meals. I was keen on losing my pregnancy weight gain fast and in a healthy way, without having to resort to weight loss pills. What I heard from her was positive.
The Nutri Ninja Slim was reasonably priced and easily accessible-- AUD $69 at Woolworth's. I am very pleased at how powerful the motor was for such a small machine. It can crush ice like nothing. Fruits-- from frozen bananas, nuts, berries, avocados-- to leafy greens are blended easily. Breakfasts are ready within 5 minutes! Just dump a few ice cubes in, some milk or yogurt, and your favorite fruit or greens. Pop the lid on and press to pulse. After it is blended to your satisfaction, just change the lid to one with the sipper and you're good to go.
The Nutri Ninja Slim has a 700W motor, so it crushes very, very efficiently. I am not a healthy eater. I have the palate of a toddler and I don't eat vegetables if I can get away with it. The way the Nutri Ninja crushes and blends them makes it very easy for me to get my nutritional needs just my sipping them! It saves me from having to chew and having to taste them bitter greens. Hahaha. As I said, toddler's palate.
Eating my greens this way also ensures I ingest the fibre as well, which are excellent for digestion. And ultimately, aids in weight loss.
Below is how I make a green smoothie:
1. Ice + fresh bananas + greens (I don't forget the name--not my favorite things)
2. After
I love how they are sized in single servings. I make just enough for myself and Jeno (if he wants it).
The Nutri Ninja Slim is ergonomically designed. There are no buttons to press. Simply pop the lid with the blades on, align the ridges, and press to pulse.
Clean up is extremely easy. As soon as you finish, just pass it under the tap. No need to soap unless you used something that doesn't easily wash off with water.
I also use it as a food processor to crush nuts, graham crackers, and Oreos.
Being the naughty eater that I am, I mostly use it to make CHOCOLATE SHAKES! Just a scoop or two (or three!) of chocolate ice cream and some milk and voila!
The Nutri Ninja Slim is one of my most used kitchen appliances. I am very happy that I listened to my friend. Even though I may have gained more weight than I lost, it's okay. The chocolate high is worth it. :)
Micellar cleansing waters are a lazy girl's best friend. Originating from France, these are revolutionary in that they are gentle, no-rinse cleansers that leave the skin nourished and hydrated. Models, makeup artists, party girls, and makeup enthusiasts swear by them.
Bioderma (the brand that pixiwoo and Charlotte Tilbury use), started the trend. However, at $30 AUD (PHP 990) for a 250 mL bottle, it is hardly budget-friendly.
Enter Garnier's Micellar Cleansing Water. At $13 AUD (PHP 429) for the 400 mL bottle, it is the most cost-effective option. Here is a picture of the one I have:
With makeup:
After using Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water
Cotton pad used
Verdict: I love the no-rinse formulation. I won't have to worry about sleeping without washing my face.
You can grab one for Php 340 at LoveLondon Online Boutique. https://m.facebook.com/LoveLondonOnline.
“A reluctant witch. A 1500-year-old vampire. A mysterious
manuscript known as Ashmole 782. The story begins with a discovery of
witches...” (www.deborahharkness.com)
Copyright (C) Deborah Harkness
Diana Bishop and her handsome vampire Matthew Clairmont
successfully time-walked into Elizabethan England to find her a mentor and to
escape threats to her life. They also seek the manuscript in its original form,
before the missing pages turned the book into a rambling tumble of nonsense.
Diana and Matthew are plunged into the chaos of Elizabethan
England, and into the company of the enigmatic School of Night. She meets the daemons, Christopher Marlowe
(yes, the playwright Christopher
Marlowe) and Thomas Harriot (mathematician and astrologer), Sir Walter Raleigh,
and Henry Percy, the Wizard Earl. To complicate matters, Kit (aka Christopher Marlowe) is insanely in love with Matthew and Diana stands out like a sore thumb, despite being a historian. And the most complicated thing is that witches and vampires are prohibited to fall in love, according to rules of the Congregation. They also meet a whole host of interesting
characters such as Mary Sidney, Doctor John Dee, Queen Elizabeth I, and King Rudolf II of Bohemia (who had a disastrous infatuation with Diana).
As they try to trace the origins of Ashmole 782, they need
to go back to Matthew’s past as well. For the 14th century Matthew Clairmont
is not the cultured, learned geneticist that he is of the 21st
century. He was the spy, Matthew Roydon, and Matthew de Clermont, distinguished
member of one of the oldest vampire clans in the world, grand master of the Knights of Lazarus, and one of the vampires seated at the Congregation in the 1500s. We also meet members of Matthew's family and discover their origins: the De Clermont patriarch Philippe and his inimitable wife Ysabeau, the faithful Gallowglass, and Hancock.
Just as Diana begins to harness her surprising powers, betrayal and scandal find their way to them. With nowhere to go but the present, Matthew and Diana once more time-walk to the present and face their destiny.
I love how Deborah Harkness introduced each character despite having a lot of new characters and putting her central characters in a whole new setting. She injected flaws into otherwise austere characters like Christopher Marlowe and Rudolf II. Her character development for Philippe and Matthew was just exquisite that readers understand the complexity and depth of their relationship. I find myself devouring each piece of information about the characters and mentally try to fit them into a puzzle. The author meshes magic and history exquisitely, giving us a glimpse of life in the 14th century yet teach us about magic and spell weaving at the same time. Her descriptive prose transports her readers in the setting of her choosing, be it Oxford, New York, Bohemia, or Elizabethan England.
Shadow of Night is a rich and intricate of
tapestry that weaves together alchemy and genetics, magic and history, passion
and honor. A riveting book that will
leave you craving for the next one.
A Discovery of Witches (The All-Souls Trilogy Book 1)
by Deborah Harkness
"A reluctant witch. A 1500-year-old vampire. A mysterious manuscript
known as Ashmole 782. The story begins with a discovery of witches..." (www.deborahharkness.com)
The All-Souls Trilogy is a beguiling and compelling read. I could compare it to Twilight but for grown-ups. It would be unfair to say that it is on the level of Twilight, however, as this trilogy is so, so much more than just the Romeo and Juliet of creatures. The All-Souls Trilogy surpasses Twilight in every aspect (Sorry Twilight fans!). It is intellectually stimulating, sensual, sexy, and just generally deep. The humor and references are really quite intelligent, and if you are not a widely-read adult, you won't really get them. Of course, as the characters are both erudite, you would expect no less. I love how Deborah Harkness captured that.
The love story between Diana Bishop and Matthew Clairmont starts out aversely, with her being initially wary, then exasperated with him for stalking her. Matthew Clairmont, in his defense, was only doing his best to protect her from creatures that want to harm her. This develops as they both spend more time together, out of necessity. It is good to see an adult romance that does not start with them hopping into bed together. Instead, their intellectual compatibility draws them to each other while they tread softly over their burgeoning feelings. The suspense of how the romance will progress resonates on a very real level, and that is one of the reasons why I love this trilogy. It is also noteworthy to say that this is not a tawdry romance, with them going at it all the time. The few love scenes portrayed are key to the storyline, and they are not described in explicit detail. What is explicit is how they feel about each other as they make love.
Deborah Harkness seamlessly introduces her readers to a whole new world of alchemy and magic, history and genetics. She captivates her reader into plunging head-first into the world she wove and makes us want to stay.
For those who seek adventure, The All-Souls Trilogy is a must-read. You will learn about creatures (vampires, witches, and daemons), time-walk to the Renaissance era, get intimate with royalty and historical behemoths, and experience the otherworldly love of a vampire and a witch.
Let's start with the first book, A Discovery of Witches:
Copyright (C) Deborah Harkness
A Discovery of Witches starts with historian Diana Bishop unearthing Ashmole 782, an alchemical manuscript, from the Bodleian Library in Oxford. Unknown to her, this ancient manuscript has been bewitched so that only she may find it. This discovery sets off a series of events that throws her in danger and into the arms of geneticist Dr. Matthew Clairmont.
Diana, who is orphaned of both her parents in childhood, was raised by her aunt and her partner, who are both witches. Being a sub-par witch herself (she later discovers she was spellbound), Diana immersed herself in a successful career as a historian. So imagine her bewilderment when Dr. Clairmont explains creatures to her and the relevance of Ashmole 782 to all of them. Humans, unknowingly, live alongside creatures for ages. These are almost-immortal vampires, powerful witches, and creative/ destructive daemons. Ashmole 782 holds the key to the beginnings and the future of all creatures.
Matthew Clairmont gently eases Diana into their world, as their growing awareness and regard for each other deepens. What also escalates is the threat to Diana's life as other creatures go to desperate measures to get their hands on the elusive manuscript. As she frees herself from being spellbound (her parents locked her powers so she won't be killed by their murderers), Diana discovers a wealth of extraordinary powers that she inherited from her parents.
The book sees Diana and Matthew time-walking to Elizabethan London to find her a teacher and to elude capture from their enemies. Will they make it there?
Stay tuned to next Wednesday's review of Shadow of Night (Book 2 of The All Souls Trilogy).
maybe
we can't help being idiots when it comes to love. that's what makes
love beautiful and extraordinary. it takes us beyond our normal, mundane
selves and turns smart, capable people into glorious fools.
-christine fabian, 2009
I will be sharing our love story, a very ordinary story that has become my life's best adventure.
Courtesy of Warner Music Philippines
This song by Nina came out in 2003. It is the song that made me realise I was falling in love with my best friend.
It was the summer of 2003 and I was a NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) college freshman. Jeno and I were constant companions and friends. He was just fresh off of a breakup and I have just learned my crush was not interested in me. I have never had a close friend of the opposite sex, and quite frankly, I felt threatened by them. So when Jeno and I first became friends, I was pleasantly surprised to find someone who wasn't interested in courting or dating me. Heck, he was pining for one of my closest female friends! This mutual friendship (my close friend and his fresh ex-girlfriend) and riding the same jeep route brought us together. I would listen to him moon over his ex, he would listen to me swear off guys, we would share food and walk to the paradahan together. We'd remind each other the need to stay out of relationships and romance. We would send each other text quotes and talk to each other on the phone everyday. I was "Sis Christine" on his phonebook and he was "Bro Jeno" on mine. I finally shed my distrust of the opposite sex, totally comfortable sharing my opinions and thoughts with him. Slowly, very slowly, something else blossomed.
Slowly, like a rose coming into bloom,
Grudgingly, like a very sore loser,
I admit to losing my heart
In the heat of summer,
To a boy who smiled with his eyes
And has a penchant for mushy text messages.
Love came slowly and hesitantly because we were like brother and sister.
Our once platonic friendship moved into a zone that I was afraid to go
into, not because it was unpleasant, but because it would complicate our
friendship.
It was complicated. I felt guilty developing feelings for him because I was instrumental to their break-up. I was May-May's confidant and I encouraged her to break up with him. I saw that she was having other personal issues that needed her full attention and she simply cannot deal with what I perceived to be a needy boyfriend. Although she started to distance herself from him to soften the pain of separation, he relentlessly pursued her across campus. As her friend, I saw most of it. At first, I felt some derision for Jeno, at how he was martyr-like in his devotion. One night we started talking, when May-May refused to talk to him. He told me he liked me but I was too hard to reach. I laughed and said he had no chance. He laughed too, and we became friends. So instead of going after her, he would hang out with me and Ramon, another friend who was going through heartbreak. So when I began feeling something, I tried to smother it, not wanting May-May to think that I stole her boyfriend.
I started feeling some queasiness when he would tell me about how his ex (and my classmate) would avoid him and I reluctantly comforted him. One night I dreamt about the two of us kissing and that's when I started to see him in that light. Whenever we'd talk about his failed relationship, I will just nod but actually try to block off everything that he's saying. I was getting uncomfortable seeing him looking at May-May with puppy-dog eyes because it highlighted the fact that I was getting jealous he didn't feel that way for me. It riled when he'd text me and call me "sis". We high-fived each other, invented this elaborate fist pump, and be ourselves with each other. I felt that to him, I was just one of the boys. I was friend-zoned even before the word was invented! It was not a good feeling.
Still, our friendship remained because he was a good friend. "Jealous" would be playing on the jeep radios when we'd go home together and I am made more acutely aware of my hopeless situation. I was jealous of the lucky girl who had his heart. I bore May-May no ill (we were, and are, friends despite this weird set-up) but it was a pity that all Jeno's devotion was wasted on her because she won't have him back. I remember thinking "If someone loved me like that, I will never let him go. I will cherish him and let him know every day that I love him."
The breaking point came one beautiful afternoon in a park. Jeno, Ramon, and myself went out for a stroll. I have just admitted to myself that I was irrevocably and totally in love with my best friend, and have accepted that. I was silent most of that time, being suddenly shy around him yet wanting to enjoy the day with both of them. When he took Ramon aside to talk about something "private", I moved away, knowing they will be talking about his ex. I went as far away from them as possible and cried. When they went to find me, I wiped my tears away, pasted a smile on my face, and pretended something was in my eye. My heart was in a million pieces.
That week, I avoided Jeno and told Ramon I can't hang out with them anymore. I told him I can't stomach seeing Jeno pine for May-May and help him find ways to get back with her or get over her (depending on the day). I was on the losing end and I hated losing. So I distanced myself hoping that I will forget him and this storm of emotions he awakened in me.
I never thought to fall in love like that. I wanted a knight in shining armor, bearing Prince William's face (and fortune) , to come and sweep me off my feet. I wanted pomp and circumstance, with the fairy tale ending in a dream wedding. I did not expect it to blossom from a platonic friendship.
I had my fair (or unfair) share of suitors and I all turned them down. I did not know why back then, but as soon as a guy showed any intention of courting me, I immediately turn them down. I won't encourage them or give them hope that they have a chance because that would be unfair to them. I just get turned off when it happens. It is only recently that I have realised that I did not want to be pursued. I agree that it is romantic and it feels good to be wooed. Personally, I do not like the idea of "staging" love. Because that's what wooing is. You put your best foot forward and shove your bad side to the back. I do not want to be pursued. I wanted to be on equal footing with my lover, for both of us to fall into it together and discover it and navigate it together. I want to get to know his good side and bad side.
However, at that time, I was in love with someone who was still in love with someone else. Walking away was a good idea to survive being "friend-zoned" unscathed. After I poured my heart out to Ramon, he looked at me funny and he LAUGHED. He insisted that I talk to Jeno and tell him what I just told him.
That afternoon, I called Jeno. Figuring this might well be the last conversation we'll have, I told him everything. We ended up talking for 3 hours, as he confessed to returning my feelings but was afraid to tell me for fear of rejection. He confessed to "love at first sight" but, taking our friends' advice, did not make any move on the Ice Queen (me). We ironed out all the mixed messages and agreed that we were in love with each other. The first few weeks was an adrenaline rush as we got to know each other more and moved from friends to something more special. I was getting used to the novelty of falling in love and reveled in it. But I was not ready to have a boyfriend. I did not want to make any rash decisions, so we remained "Special Friends". He waited some months before we became a couple.
He told me that when you love somebody, they stay in your heart. You
don't forget them, you just learn to live without them. I have accepted
early on that he cannot "un-love" his past girlfriends because he had truly loved them. I am not
replacing anyone and he would not have me compare myself with any of his exes. Being with him should not mean that I negate his exes or try to erase the past that he had with them. I have learned that I am the one he loves at present because we "fit" each other (for the lack of a better term) perfectly at that time in our lives, and should work on growing together to have a future with each other.
I was 18 years old and I was finally brave enough to fall in this adventure called love. I am glad that I waited until I was mature enough when I had my first boyfriend. I am glad that he is my best friend. We had, and still have, a lot of things to iron out in our relationship. He is not my Prince Charming; he is my funny sidekick and I am happy with how my story is turning out.
The summer of 2003 started with "Jealous" and ended with "Forevermore".
